Taxi cab classes and ghetto haircuts

Last night was the best taxi experience that I've ever had. I don't know why no one has thought of this yet, but taxi cab language classes could be the next big thing.

It was a normal night for me, I left work around 8:30pm, walked to the corner, and hailed a cab. I told the driver "haidian yi yuen" but alas, my accent made it sound like "hi dan, you when?" He corrected me, and kept saying "haidian yi yuen" over and over again, until I understood that he wanted me to repeat after him. I repeated after him, in the proper Chinese accent, and he shouted "okay!!" After our little moment, he kept speaking to me in Chinese, and I think he was asking me if I was a student, judging by the air notes he was writing on an imaginary notepad. I told him "mayo" so I guess he decided to teach me some random Chinese words.

The driver was a jovial fellow in his late 50s, and had a hearty, raspy laugh that could only have been created by decades of cigarettes and yellow dust. Nevertheless, I liked him. The entire ride home, he would shout some random Chinese phrase, I would repeat after him, and we would crack up laughing. I wish I had a recording of his laugh.

When I got home, I was planning on cutting my hair. Those of you who know me are aware that I'm fairly capable of cutting my own hair. I've been cutting my own hair since high school, as well as had my fair share of regular customers throughout college. I haven't cut my hair since I left for Beijing, so I had a pretty decent sized helmet on my head. I pretty much looked like this guy, except my hair was about 5 times the length.


I didn't have any haircutting tools with me, so I borrowed some scissors from work. My hotel supplied me with a comb, so all I had to do was unscrew the shaving mirror off the wall and mount it in my shower. I'm right handed, so cutting the left side of my head is a bit difficult, especially with little kids scissors that are about 3 inches long and have a red plastic handle. Luckily, my hair is pretty long, so the length being even was not necessary. Anyways, an hour later, my head was five pounds lighter, and my tub looked like a fake fur coat. I should have kept the trimmings and made a fashion beard. That's all for this installment. This is the smooth-armed bandit, signing off.