My eating paradox

I know, I know, these posts are slowing down. This whole blogging thing can get quite tiresome, and writing long, meaningless, but comedic, entries can be quite demanding at times. My buddy Kunan tells me that he keeps reloading my blog waiting, for the newest entry, and it got me thinking. I started this blog mainly because I'm in China, but I figured, hey! I'll write about other random things on my mind.

Okay I lied. First I'm going to update you on my status here in China. It's getting warmer here, and I'm able to walk around in a button-up and jeans. It's nice that its warmer, but it sucks when I hit the gym. I swear the gym in my hotel doubles as a sauna. So not only do I have zero motivation to work out, I have all these delectable Chinese goodies at my fingertips (and no, still no nail polish on my fingernails, thank you very much). I've been pretty good about breakfast, but come lunch and dinner, its a whole different story. My breakfasts here consist of watermelon and cantalope/honey dew. The reason why I wrote "cantalope/honey dew" is because I never remember which one is which. Anyways, the one I eat is the orange one, which I think is cantalope.

I've been eating watermelon and cantalope daily for a little over two weeks now, and I was curious as to why the fruits never changed. My girlfriend convinced me that it was probably a seasonal thing, which made sense. However, Kunan told me that he has been eating watermelon and cantalope everyday for over a year now. Yikes! Where do they get this endless supply of watermelon (that is slightly pale) and cantalope (which is also slightly pale in color)?

So back to the rest of my meals. My lunches usually consist of rice (plenty of it, but I'll get back to that later), some sort of meat, and a stack of bok choy. I love bok choy. I could probably eat bok choy for the rest of my life. As for dinner, I usually go with dumplings, noodles, meat, or wherever my friends and I decide to venture out to. My eyes are definitely bigger than my stomach, yet I clear my plate every time. This is bad news bears. I'm noticing that my jeans are getting a little snug around the midsection, and I think I'm getting what my sister calls a "muffin top." Gross.

So as stated above, I'm going to return to the topic of rice. I know people say its all carbs, yada, yada, yada. Atkins diet, shmatkins diet. I don't know any asian person that doesn't eat rice. I NEED rice. Rice is like a white man's potatoes. You need it to balance out the saltiness of any food you eat. There's this joke that goes "why do white people have such big eyes, and asian people such small eyes?" Because when white people come home they say "STEAK AND POTATOES AGAIN!!!" in a wide-eyed frenzy, and asian people sadly say "aww man, not rice again." While this joke is hilarious, especially if you get the facial expressions right, its totally not true. I will forever eat rice till the day I die. In fact, I want to be buried in a sack of rice. Write that down, thanks.

So what am I going to do about this paradox? Probably nothing. I do drink about six bottles of oolong tea a day, which apparently has slimming properties in it. For those of you who believe in these marketing schemes, I'll tell you first hand, it doesn't do diddly-squat. Time to hit the treadmill.